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[justscribing]

USERNAME: Alhaitham ALHAITHAM GENSHIN IMPACT TEXT • AUDIO • VIDEO • ACTION • OVERFLOW

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02/26-02/28 | Addressing the Past Iteration

[justscribing]

[We finally backdate this months later.]

Alhaitham + Kaveh

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[fussiest]

[ it's my fault we're doing this months later tbh - also usually you get a huge paragraph of kaveh just absolutely going through it, but in light of the fact that yall know what he's going through, i'm electing to start this in media res.

as in right fucking now.

it's four in the morning and kaveh is shaking alhaitham as if he owes him money. ]

Alhaitham- Alhaitham! Oh, for the love of Archons, wake up faster - what did you think about it.

[justscribing]

[Alhaitham grunts and blindly slaps at Kaveh before finally giving him the most affronted expression that his precious beauty sleep is being distracted.]

What? [His voice is rough with sleep. He narrows his eyes in the darkness. He does not, actually, need Kaveh to elaborate on what he's taking about.

He watched it. If course he watched it, locked in their room with his headphones in. As much as he wishes otherwise, he knows what this is about. And to think, just a day ago he thought Kaveh's tense nerves were from his death.

Alhaitham lets out a breath.]

Well how many times did you watch it?

[fussiest]

Seven! [ it's a day five, and kaveh's always been quick with numbers. the number comes out before kaveh can think better of it - seven times and that dreaded replay button. at one point, kaveh figured out how to make it loop, and then the onus was on him to stop it from playing again and again. that he didn't was a failing in a way that he hasn't even considered yet, and suspects doesn't even exist in the wider universe - save for now, seventh loop of the video in, in which kaveh had finally had enough and pulled the plug to the entire machine.

he then did start-up procedures again because he knew this was bad for the machine and felt incredibly contrite about it, but that was neither here nor there.

there: seven. here: kaveh snaps his mouth shut. he looks. ]

Wait - why is that the first thing you ask? You just - that - [ HNNNNNG. ] That's just not fair! You can't just ask things like that and expect an answer, a-and just - seven isn't even a lot! I had it on loop! It played without my conscious consent, in fact, so in that hypothetical scenario, I was the victim! [ ... ] Please say something before I dig myself into a deeper hole.

[justscribing]

[Seven.

Alhaitham's eyebrows have disappeared into the tousle of his hair. Kaveh begs for a response. Anything to save him from his insomniac prattle and Alhaitham's increasingly questioning expression.

So be it.] And was watching the only thing you did while it played?

[fussiest]

[ there is tomato red, and there is kaveh red. ]

YOU- And why is that your second question! What was the point of conferring upon you a degree, Haravatat, if the only questions you can come up with are so besides the point that I'm not even certain we are on the same topic anymore! [ kaveh clutches alhaitham's collar. it's less out of sheer, indomitable rage and more for dear life. ] Look, just - answer my question! This isn't about me, this is about you!

[justscribing]

Maybe your opinion of it is relevant to mine. [Not in the ways Kaveh is asking, though.

He closes his eyes in final petulance. He could try to waive Kaveh off further, but he can see him releasing the bait.]

I think that in some iteration Midnight and I had. Sex. [The truncation is almost unnoticeable. Almost.]

The system data must be leaking. The simulation isn't stable.

[fussiest]

Alhaitham.

[ alhaitham settles into the conversation the way a bird settles on a bed of spikes. suddenly, the guilt surges in kaveh, because this had been kaveh's fault. he could have kept that video to himself. he could have acted like nothing happened. technically nothing had happened. it was another iteration. it was another version of them.

archons, what did it mean that other versions of them will make choices that their current versions would not? but on the other hand, does this provide proof or detraction for the theory that free will exists? kaveh realises the conclusion that he must draw from this: midnight and alhaitham could have made those decisions, because those are decisions that either of them are capable of making. the only difference in the two scenarios is kaveh.

twice the guilt, then. kaveh's hands curl into alhaitham's collar, then lets him go. neither of them are going anywhere anyway. ]

Obviously the two of you had sex. I watched it. You watched it. [ kaveh finishes after a moment. it manages to be less lost and more exasperated, the sort of 'the sky is blue and water is wet' that alhaitham typically brings to a conversation, usually while pointing out kaveh's entirely justified neurosis. he's still perched over alhaitham because he has no idea what else to do with himself. kaveh runs a hand through his blond hair. ] Those are facts, though, Alhaitham, not opinions. Be honest - you didn't want to see that, did you.

Kaveh + Midnight

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[fussiest]

And look - I'm not saying you have to tell me.
Or tell anyone, really! Or make this extremely weird because there's nothing weird about having a conversation and having opinions, even if it's opinions on this in particular, but even strange things beget opinions, don't they! That doesn't make the act of having an opinion on it weird!
Which means if I'm asking you for that opinion, I'm not being weird and you're not being weird in this incredibly not-weird hypothetical conversation that we haven't had yet.

[ this is actually the fifth message. kaveh still hasn't finished typing. ]

Anyway, what I mean to say is -
What is your opinion!
What did you think.
Please don't make this weird, Midnight.
I'm not being weird about it.
Also I'm outside your door, so could you please open it before your neighbours wonder if I'm here to take the door off your hinges again? Or before I take your door off its hinges again? One or the other, I'm not sure what kind of night it is right now but it's really shaping up to be like one or the other.

[unrequite]

[ Thank fuck for both of them that Midnight is the lightest sleeper known to Ishar'mla's Terra. Thank fuck for Kaveh, in that he only needs to wait a handful of seconds for Midnight to open the door, and thank fuck for Midnight, who is very grateful to still have a door with hinges that swing out to greet Kaveh.

Midnight doesn't look... chipper, exactly, but he is awake in ways that only insomniacs are at 4 in the morning. He watched the video, deposited exactly one "wow" into chat, and rolled back over for a light doze. These are the consequences of his actions, probably. ]

Darling. My opinion was "wow". Would you like another? You are here at a very significantly early hour for a second opinion, you know.

[ ... Honestly, although the verbiage is snippy, Midnight is smiling. He's terribly amused. How else is he supposed to handle this, anyway? ]

[fussiest]

[ from one insomniac to another: kaveh tips up his chin. midnight doesn't look well. this has occurred to kaveh enough times that it's ceased to become a novelty, though it will never not become a point of contention. the red of his gaze chases the contour of his cheek and the colour of it, the potential for bags under his eyes, the curve of his mouth. kaveh would like midnight to look well, and he knows that part of the issue must be the video.

guilt curls in the pit of his stomach as he shoulders past midnight in a hurry to make sure that midnight won't change his mind and shut the door. that could end badly for both of them. ]

Oh, don't even try to pass that off as a proper opinion. In my world, the opinion isn't proper until you've a thirty-page paper with reputable citations and at least three people who dissent with you. [ kaveh reaches up with his hand to tip up midnight's chin. ] Let me look at you. Aren't you paler than the last time I saw you? You're not eating well or sleeping well, aren't you. Don't lie to me, I can see it from a kilometer away.

[unrequite]

[ From one insomniac to another: it's only because Midnight knows his own habits that he knows Kaveh's, that he knows neither of them have any business being up. Kaveh's probably been up, logically speaking, because geometric proofs are the only way Midnight is ever able to make concrete conclusions about reality, about "how" and "why". He shuts the door behind Kaveh, tries to scoot around him to fetch him something to drink, and is caught by his hand. Of course. A look from Kaveh's eyes could shoot down his very soul. ]

Now, how amenable to social niceties are we feeling tonight, my heart? Do I fuss over whether you've slept at all in return, or can I put on a pot of tea while you arrange yourself on my couch? There are only two scholars of the Akademiya here, after all, not nearly enough to conclude anything about my dissertation. May as well get comfortable before we discuss.

[ They might be able to sleep if Midnight puts on chamomile and they get comfortable enough. Who's to say? ]

[fussiest]

Or we can cut the niceties and you can admit to me that your sleep's been horrid, and I can give you a proper lecture while I dig through your fridge to make sure that Yesod and Netzach are getting a good meal at least. [ says kaveh, right-quick, as his eyes narrow just enough. enough for what? enough to not catch any shifts in midnight's expression, to not see any overt signs of distress, but kaveh knows better than to believe they don't exist. this is the man for whom his heart is nothing more than a pincushion. kaveh taps midnight's cheek. ]

Look, I'm just here to check up on you. Check in with you. One of the two. I just - [ ... ] maybe you didn't want to see that video, is all. And what kind of a response is a simple 'wow'? I spent an entire three hours staring at it wishing I had the kind of hands that could reach into texting space and shake an answer out of it. Was it a good 'wow' or a bad 'wow'? Did it disturb you? Unsettle you? Have you been thinking about it in lieu of sleep? And we don't need a third Sumeran scholar to dissent when there are perfectly capable people like Netzach and Yesod who'd also tell you the what's what. They're both scientists. They can both see through bullshit.

So honestly: how much sleep did you get last night? And do you regret seeing that video?

[unrequite]

My sleep would be better with Netzach, it's true, but... Well, that's another subject, isn't it?

[ One that is better pushed out by the tabs with Yesod, with Netzach, a subject that he is solving with them via time and the gentle application of such. He's cherishing the amount of time Yesod allows him. He cherishes Yesod, cherishes Netzach, the way they try to understand his space, his time...

Midnight laughs, turns his face to Kaveh's hand. ]

It's in the past, love. The sort of past that we've no way of reaching properly, not even in the realm of our own memories. It's a dream, like those we're meant to have about now, chronologically speaking. There is no consequence to it but the sort we choose to draw from its conclusions. Now please sit with me so we can attempt to discuss this with some modicum of civility. You're getting chamomile, and so am I.

[ ... Midnight's voice is still light. Very much the voice of a man who is still wondering if he can put the kettle on for them both. ]

[fussiest]

[ kaveh has heard it all before. he raises his other hand, and holds midnight's face in his palms the way you would a recalcitrant dog.

kaveh looks. ]

And you'll have more to say than what I've already heard before, yes?

Alhaitham + Midnight

[justscribing]

[unrequite]

[ Literally, all Midnight is doing is texting while lying on Haikaveh's couch. Not a single thing about his life changed after The Sex Tape. He very pointedly does not look up if he isn't addressed, but he really is just minding his own business, keeping his nose out of Alhaitham's. As one does. As he promised to do.

Alhaitham is the one with the revelations to contend with, isn't he? Midnight is not going to help. He doesn't know the first thing about Alhaitham, really. How does he help? ]

[justscribing]

[To be honest, on its own the sex tape isn't even the most distressing thing. Certainly not compared to Kaveh bleeding out in his arms, the vigil over his cold corpse, the uncertainty that he may not be revived as the rules of this place change.

But he's still not recovered from that when he's sent the image of a previous iteration of him and Midnight in an intense copulation. Perhaps that's what's so difficult about it--that Alhaitham must have not just like Midnight but trusted him in ways he cannot now to allow him to dominate and consume him that way.

He's shuffling out of the study when he spots Midnight on their couch. Kaveh must have invited him over. Alhaitham, for a moment, freezes in place as if avoiding the attentions of a predator.

And then quickly looks literally anywhere except Midnight's face. He clears his throat.] Did Kaveh invite you to help with something?

[unrequite]

No, I need his help.

[ Midnight hums, scrolls on the network. Casually. As one does. ]

The next step of building out the host club is emergency exits. We need to inspect the landings we put in for stability before we begin knocking down more walls.

[ No other conversation besides that. Topic: done. Good work, everyone. Good hustle. ]

[justscribing]

Ah. [Alhaitham is still not looking at Midnight.] Then you're not staying long.

[Maybe Kaveh's just grabbing the blueprints. Maybe the ground will simply swallow him.]

[unrequite]

Until Kaveh comes back with his level, yes.

[ ... Midnight chances a look over at Alhaitham. He doesn't do well with idleness; he's already compiled all his notes, answered all outstanding texts, organized his supply spreadsheet, and planned the next three weeks, random events notwithstanding. He's looking for something else to do.

... Why is Alhaitham just standing there? ]

Is there something I can do for you?

[justscribing]

[Alhaitham doesn't quite catch Midnight looking at him because he's still not looking at Midnight's face. He's aware it's ridiculous--that not looking at Midnight doesn't mean he isn't really there--but he thinks, if he makes eye contact there's going to be a crack in his countenance he's not going to be able to recover. And Midnight has enough of his vulnerabilities.]

No. [Maybe? No, no.] I can stand where I want in my house.

[unrequite]

Of course you can.

[ ... Hmm. Midnight cannot rightly think of any reason why Alhaitham wouldn't just stand in his own house, at that. Perhaps that is how he thinks? In which case, that is none of his business. There are so many ways he could, with any other person, carefully pry after one's motivations, but with Alhaitham... ]

Would you like to sit? I can move, if you like this seat.

[ Of course he can. This is not Midnight's seat. (This is bound to get very silly very soon, in ways that will be impossible for even Midnight to miss. One clown shoe step at a time, though.) ]