justscribing | The City

[ Invited to do so, visiting Kaveh's workshop every so often has begun to become part of an ordinary routine here as well. Still, Yesod tends to hang back to avoid getting underfoot, content to catch new glimpses of projects in progress, or simply to observe the changes for the better that Netzach and Kaveh have accomplished together. If these aspects of this place could be preserved someday, too, that would be ideal.

Today, though the reasons for his visit haven't changed, Yesod admittedly has a number of other things on his mind. The main issue isn't new — he's contemplated it from time to time over the past few weeks — but recent conversations have pushed it into the foreground, despite other more pressing matters occupying that space.

An unfortunate byproduct of one exchange is this: when Yesod catches sight of Alhaitham nearby, he can't help but think of Reno's nickname for the man. Consequently, instead of looking up to make eye contact, he tries to discreetly pay closer attention to Alhaitham's arms for several seconds. They match the rest of Alhaitham's body, nothing out of proportion.

With that confirmed, Yesod lifts his gaze. ]

...Greetings, Alhaitham. Could I speak with you?

[Conveniently, Kaveh has just stepped out to work on Daan's clinic on-site, leaving Alhaitham to read in the swinging seat that's perpendicular to the drafting bench. It's entirely too fancy for a workshop.

His gaze flickers up when Yesod arrives, but Alhaitham knows he tends to visit occasionally just to see what Netzach and Kaveh are up to. He's about to explain they're not here, though, when Yesod's question gets out first.]

What about?

[ Yesod is loath to interrupt Alhaitham's reading, especially for something that isn't actually urgent. If it were him in Alhaitham's place, he would generally find that irritating himself... He pauses, glancing down at the other man's book. ]

Tell me if you would prefer to postpone it, as I don't want to waste your time. I would have liked to discuss recent plans further, but I doubt that there is much more just yet.

[ And it's also mildly irritating that the topic of Alhaitham's arms — evidently common knowledge — continues to occupy a corner of his mind, if only because he chose to ask Netzach for clarification, resulting in Netzach's detailed input, as well as a request for him to act as the judge overseeing an upcoming shirtless weighted push-up contest. Presumably some pairs would need additional weights to eliminate any advantage over others — Netzach, for example, is quite light. Carrying him only becomes difficult if he uses the proximity to his advantage, Yesod has discovered, which has nothing to do with Netzach's weight. ]

That said... I presume you are aware of that so-called "boyfriend chart" now underway?

[ It feels ridiculous to say it aloud. ]

[It's a book on (sort of) modern vehicles, all very generic information on what makes cars, planes, and subways operate. He closes it without marking his page to give Yesod his full attention. He's amicable enough that Alhaitham expects the conversation in question to be relevant and interesting to him, even if it's not about the currently building plans to disrupt the simulation.

What he follows up with, though, is absolutely not what Alhaitham expected.] The... boyfriend chart?

[The slow, perplexed furrow of his brow. He rests his cheek on his hand, the flexing of his arms really just making that bicep more prominent. He is not aware of the boyfriend chart, or Yesod's currently conflicting opinions about his physique.] I haven't heard anything about that.

[ Alhaitham's reaction is a clear and understandable answer on its own. Internal perishing silences thoughts of Netzach apparently enjoying displays of physical strength, at least, and Yesod's brow furrows in turn. Perhaps Reno hasn't contacted every potentially connected individual after all. ]

I suppose, unless there are other similar arrangements in place, Reno's progress has made it no further than asking Netzach and me about... our total number of boyfriends.

[ That feels ridiculous coming out of his mouth, too. If nothing else, Alhaitham can prepare himself for the possibility that he will hear more from someone before long, then. ]

In that case, he may contact you soon, if your situation involving Kaveh and Midnight is perceived as complicated.

[Better start hitting the gym, Yesod. You seen Midnight's pecs?

There is a lot of context Alhaitham is missing insofar as why there needs to be a survey of how many boyfriends people have. Is that really necessary? People can figure out their own relationships. He almost wonders if Yesod just needs to express some grief at being pestered.

Almost.

His brow raises.] Why would our situation be complicated?

[That's a bit of a disingenuous question. Alhaitham knows exactly what's complicated about the three of them, but it doesn't have anything to do with their romantic feelings in any direction. Did Kaveh get drunk and accidentally give Reno the wrong impression? That sounds like him.]

[ Is it not enough to regularly do yoga and stretches...

Fortunately, Yesod is preoccupied with a milder form of wanting to crawl out of his skin over these subjects and their associated emotions right now, but he is resolved to confront them each time, and this is no different, now that the conversation has commenced. Alhaitham seems genuinely puzzled, he notes. To his knowledge, Alhaitham and Kaveh's situation is reasonably straightforward, separated into an exclusive romantic relationship between the two and things unique to that, alongside Kaveh engaging in what Reno might place into the "purple string" category, exchanging affectionate gestures with others.

Yet Midnight's remark mentioned both Netzach and Kaveh together. Then it's possible that Alhaitham considers that no less straightforward to categorize. ]

My guess would be that people wonder whether you and I are also in a relationship with Midnight, or we have a schedule to take turns, and so on. Whatever the case, I don't think that either of us would describe our respective situations as truly complicated ourselves.

[Now hold on here.]

Why would I be in a relationship with Midnight? [That's a thought he literally never wanted to have to consider. He's baffled by the prospect that it takes a second for the rest of that to register, and there isn't an immediate clarity so much as him slowly unraveling a dense tangle of yarn so he can make sense of anything.]

There's nothing complicated about Kaveh and I. [Well, okay, their very existences are complicated but he doesn't consider their relationship so.] We're together. That's it. And I only know of Midnight's relationship with Netzach.

Edited 2024-01-07 04:51 (UTC)

[ There are things that Yesod feels he has no business commenting on further, and the conviction with which Alhaitham states his perspective is enough. What Netzach has shared of the agreement between Alhaitham and Kaveh is enough.

Yesod shakes his head. ]

That is the situation as I understood it as well. Presumably any speculation would arise only because of Midnight's general behavior, in addition to his openly spending time with Kaveh and Netzach.

[ The announcement regarding Seventh Hell, for instance, which included joking that people should remind Kaveh to get more sleep together with Midnight. ]

Doesn't Midnight flirt with everyone? [He's trying not to spend a lot of time around him at the moment, but that's at least on extremely obvious trait even Alhaitham couldn't avoid noticing. He doesn't escape the pet names, either.

The thought unravels, and Alhaitham slowly lowers his book.] Were you coming to confirm if Kaveh and Midnight were in a relationship? They're not. Yesod, what did Midnight say?

[Because if the speculation came from Midnight, it was definitely something he said.]

[ These questions are somewhat alarming — after all, inadvertently misrepresenting the situation would be a problem. Yesod shakes his head a second time. ]

No, that is none of my business, nor has Midnight said anything out of the ordinary. Nevertheless, even Midnight doesn't treat every person as interchangeable.

[ It's strange to be on the receiving end of the endearments that Midnight uses for everyone, and simultaneously to know that Midnight stays on his guard around certain people in particular, it seems, expecting a predictable pattern of behavior. ]

...Truthfully, I've simply wanted another perspective, as far as these matters are concerned. As Midnight seems fond of Kaveh, if not in precisely the same way as he cares for Netzach, I considered that your perspective and Kaveh's would be relevant. Your approach strikes me as reasonable.

But you did question if they were. [Alhaitham leans into the back of the seat, the heel of his boot holding it still as he folds his arms. He remains unconvinced.]

Midnight's in love with Kaveh, but Kaveh turned him down just like he turned down Netzach. Neither Kaveh nor I are sharing with other people the way that you and Midnight are together with Netzach.

[ Yesod would like to go back to criticizing the absurdity of Sharknado instead of uttering anything like "yes, given that Kaveh is kissing multiple other people, most likely not only Netzach, but Midnight as well"... Of course, his own perspective may be influenced by the fact that the smallest gestures of physical affection have felt like significant steps to take, and outside of experiencing that with Netzach, such things haven't entered his thoughts. It's entirely possible that people like him are in the minority.

He regards Alhaitham, keeping his expression neutral, though some of what Alhaitham shares is new information that leads to needing to adjust his understanding of the links connecting all of them in different ways. Midnight's phrasing during the party still stands out, then, but the intent could well have been to reflect Midnight's feelings for both Netzach and Kaveh. They seem happy, at any rate. If all of it functions smoothly in this form, there is no need to question it further. ]

...I see. Yes, I must confess that it briefly crossed my mind. Loving several people seems to come easily to all of them.

[Alhaitham closes his eyes for a moment. Nothing out of the ordinary, Yesod said, but Alhaitham has enough faith in Yesod that he couldn't fundamentally misinterpret Midnight and Kaveh as Midnight as Netzach's relationship unless he was given reason for it.

He lets out a breath. Confronting Midnight for answers will definitely make things worse. No, he realizes, this misunderstanding probably comes from Kaveh. He told him to talk to them.]

And you don't, and realized that I don't, so you were looking for a perspective more similar to your own. [Fine, they can focus on that and not the talk he needs to have with Kaveh.] You could say that they all love multiple people and have that be true, but it doesn't really capture any nuance. People also love their pets and their friends, but we understand there's a difference between someone's close friend and their lover.

[...] Do I need to explain romantic and platonic love before we go further?

[This is a genuine question, even if he delivers it in the most jerkish manner.]

[ What has Yesod done..... Forgive him, Kaveh. He stands there a little more stiffly, shaking his head with an abrupt movement this time, as if that might shake every thought out of his head altogether for a while. ]

...No. That is unnecessary. I apologize for bringing this up... It's clear that no comparisons can be drawn between your relationship with Kaveh and an arrangement that became the logical outcome because Netzach's feelings make it possible.

[ Ultimately, mitigating his reactions is his own responsibility. Much like it will take time to convince Midnight that his heart and Netzach's won't change, he intends to persevere in his efforts. No template or manual exists for that, and no one's experiences are identical. ]

No, my situation isn't the same as yours. [But the irritation leaves as quickly as it came as he regards Yesod. The logical outcome, huh.]

Are you all right sharing Netzach with Midnight?

I am.

[ There is no hesitation, although that answer alone is insufficient. ]

...More precisely, Midnight has been a source of positive experiences for Netzach, as Kaveh has. It's understandable that Netzach has fallen in love with them, and he should have the freedom to continue to experience such things.

[ But Netzach was concerned enough to discuss the arrangement with Kaveh, not long ago. You'd probably be happier if you weren't sharing me, right? Something must have caused him to think it, just as Midnight felt the need to offer his reassurances, only to admit to a lingering wariness himself. That something is the problem to address. ]

Just so we're clear--[Because apparently this hasn't been clear.] Netzach is also not in a relationship with Kaveh. I assume you know this, but if we're going to discuss anyone's feelings it's important to be aware of what is actually happening between each of us. Aren't you three also drawing a boundary between what is exclusive to your relationship and what is comfortably shared with other people? Like sex.

[Look, it was. The most obvious and understandable example. Of course he picked it.]

But you're comfortable sharing Netzach with Midnight because you don't want to restrict Netzach and because you think Midnight has been good to him.

[ ...Let him resume perishing. On the other hand, Alhaitham has a point. It's best to ensure that there are no misunderstandings. ]

...That is not exclusive.

[ But it is for Alhaitham and Kaveh, by the sound of it. That seems straightforward as well. ]

However, Netzach and I have had a conversation to that effect. I felt that it should not be necessary... but his offer isn't unappreciated.

[Alhaitham stares. He's... starting to see where the confusion is for Yesod.]

... I'm not an expert at relationships. But if you're going to say you're with someone in a way that isn't the same as any of your friends, there should be something that differentiates one type of relationship from the other. Otherwise there would be no point in categorizing them.

[Two logic based men trying to puzzle matters of the heart and it's going... swimmingly.]

Netzach has multiple partners, so what is it he only gives you and Midnight? And what do you give only Netzach?

[ Alhaitham deserves so many books to read in peace after this.

That logic makes perfect sense, of course. If only it could be so simple, but Reno's color-coded chart has a category for "fucking but it's not a thing" — the range of relationships is all too complex, and little seems reasonable to request as not to be shared with multiple people. ]

...I should clarify that neither Midnight nor I have asked Netzach to restrict himself to us as his... only sexual partners. Regardless, that appears to be the choice that he has made of his own will. I'm unaware of Midnight's stance, but I do not interact with anyone else as I've come to interact with Netzach.

[ Yesod indicates Alhaitham with a nod in his direction. ]

Perhaps all of that equates to the distinction that you're describing.

[For absolutely everyone's sake, Alhaitham remains unaware that friends with benefits is a concept that needs to be elaborated.]

In that case I believe your current confusion could be cleared up by explaining directly what each of your considers exclusive to a committed relationship and how you intend to actualize it. That's what Kaveh and I did, which is how we came to an understanding that kissing on the lips wasn't something that would be an exclusive form of affection.

[Granted, Alhaitham still promised his lips to Kaveh but he's aware he could take that promise back if he wanted to. He just doesn't want to kiss a single other person so he sees no need to try and balance them out.]

[ Alhaitham's perspective highlights what Yesod must aspire towards — the differences between their situations don't matter in that sense, as Netzach is no less devoted than Kaveh is, regardless of how many people he loves. Rather, in Kaveh's absence, Alhaitham doesn't seem excessively aware of wanting him. For the two of them, questions such as how much is too much don't exist, and boundaries set don't exacerbate these notions.

After a moment's pause, Yesod nods once more. ]

...Yes. That is sensible. To tell the truth, Netzach mentioned that speaking with Kaveh gave him the idea to offer me something that would become only ours. His and mine.

[ Something that isn't the past. ]

Then you and Kaveh considered it necessary, despite the existing nature of your relationship?

[It's because he has no shame. Kaveh chose him and that's just going to be Kaveh's problem now.]

Sure. It was still a change in our relationship, and Kaveh was seeking confirmation that what we have with each other is different than with anyone else. Romantic and sexual attraction in general was one of the few things we never really talked about. At least, not about each other. And Kaveh will build up expectations in his head if left alone, so I found it a good opportunity to use the conversation to establish what is and isn't changing.

[He pauses, considering.] I think the history Kaveh and I have isn't quite like what you and Netzach have, but the idea should be applicable to any relationship where there's uncertainty.

[ Kaveh needed that reassurance, that certainty, not Alhaitham? Hearing Netzach's explanation, Yesod had assumed that Kaveh had simply proposed a similar idea out of a desire to promise Alhaitham something that would be his alone. Alhaitham's answer now, however, adjusts Yesod's impression of the situation further.

It's difficult to feel no envy at all. If nebulous definitions of a committed relationship were the true problem, that could be resolved with relative ease.

The strangeness of coming to miss someone's presence, despite seeing that person on a regular basis, and the discomfort of apportioned time, absurd questions of equal shares, likely aren't thoughts that Alhaitham experiences. ]

...Kaveh must have known that you would choose only him and vice versa. Perhaps, had Netzach been aware of my feelings...

[ Yesod cuts himself off. That isn't the issue, either. Netzach has offered to choose him, if need be, but asking that of him would never be justifiable. Netzach shouldn't need to consider it, nor should Midnight think that it could happen someday.

That offer itself should have been enough. ]

You had no trouble giving Kaveh the clarification that he sought, in other words.

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