justscribing | The City

Only if it's coerced out of the subject. I'm offering it to you. This is closer in concept to offering a drink to your local fire department.

Anyway, am I the seller in this scenario? If it's on me to settle on a price... No, isn't that a little backwards? We're still in the marketing phase. I have to convince you, without a doubt, that you must have these ears.

[ Hmmm! ]

I'm assuming that aesthetic concerns are wholly off the table? I've mentioned that they fit your look much better than most several times by now to no avail.

Is that a common practice where you're from, offering drinks to public servants?

[Alhaitham wouldn't know, making himself the least identifiable and agreeable government employee possible.]

Other people's opinion on my look aren't a concern for me. That sort of tactic would work with someone more self conscious in their appearance, but I'm content with how I dress. Also, in a real commercial transaction you would have a cost in mind before you begin peddling your wares on the streets. You'll be at a disadvantage when haggling if you aren't confident in its value.

Yes. It's a rather thankless job, otherwise. Most are.

[ But being thanked is definitely for people who like being in public. Midnight... Well, he has his own opinions about that, let's say. ]

But in order for me to have an idea on how to price my item, there must be a market with preexisting demand. I may have a monopoly at the moment, but not only are you my only possible audience, you've already come to the table with the presupposition that the item has no value to you, and you have no interest in how it might benefit anyone else... Or at least, that's what I'm assuming.

[ ... Again, all of this over fuzzy cat ears. ]

[This is Alhaitham, almost three months without books. There is nothing that's below him making a debate out of.]

Well, as a potential customer instead of an investor it isn't my job to figure out its benefit for anyone else. And how will you convince me of its value if you aren't certain yourself?

I understand perfectly well what the ears would mean to me, were the colors more suited to my taste. As a potential customer, hm... I suppose this is like looking into a catalogue? You need use cases, and I don't have the privilege of knowing your tastes...

[ A hum. God, he's taking this so seriously. Not out of a lack of anything to do, he just finds this kind of entertaining. ]

No interest in dressing up as a cat?

Do I seem suited to be a cat in any way except that my hair matches that headband?

[It's amazing they haven't created a black hole out of their combined obstinance.] It would have to provide some benefit beyond its look in order to interest me.

I don't know. It could be a terribly apt warning sign. Cats do have the privilege of a certain socially acceptable aloof character, you know. An advertisement of your austerity, perhaps.

[There it is, the minute quirk of the corner of his mouth up.] Do I seem the kind of person who requires a warning sign?

[It's funny because the games of telephone back in Sumeru, from fresh-faced students to Tighnari, are exactly that: a warning. That he's fucking annoying.]

No, honestly. You seem very quiet. And that's why we need the warning, not you. You may not mind your reputation so much, but if you enjoy a certain rigor to your day to day life that excludes exchanging pleasantries with others, it might be easier to ward them off by signaling such tendencies. Thus, the ears.

... But that's in the case that you'd care for other people's comfort, mm? Or at the very least, you don't seem to mind others so much, it's others that tend to mind you. Back to where we started, then.

[ Midnight's tone is, surprisingly, not pointed at all. He really is earnestly workshopping how these ears could benefit Alhaitham in a way he'd appreciate. ]

If I don't want to talk to someone, I won't. [This isn't even getting into how questionable a cat ear headband is as a warning: just as many people think cats are cute and approachable because of it.] It's more effective to proactively avoid troublesome things than expect other people to abide by signals. Some people will disregard a warning entirely, or even take it as some sort of offense to disprove.

[Kaveh.]

[ Midnight laughs. He wanted to live in a world where he considered the ears a valid warning sign for just a little longer... Ah, well.

Who does seem to trouble Alhaitham, then...? ]

You don't seem to mind Kaveh. Either that, or you have difficulty escaping him. [ ... ] Does Kaveh like cats?

[Alhaitham decided that he has no intention of letting Kaveh slip through his fingers, and so he had made himself the difficult to escape, easy to find one. But in the darkness of the mall, Kaveh had told him I can't lose even one part of you.

Maybe Kaveh wouldn't have let him slip through so easily either.]

Kaveh does, though he likes most animals. He wouldn't like me as a cat, however.

[ ~~gay~~ Midnight has cottoned onto the rather mutual nature of their non-friendship, yes. More than that, the mall has proven that he can't leave Kaveh alone, for whatever reason; Kaveh drags him along and seems to enjoy finding reasons to complain about him. The bickering is mutual.

Now... How to leverage that into a compelling proposal? ]

... Do you seek his approval?

I don't seek anyone's approval. [That, genuinely, includes Kaveh.] But you were asking because you wondered if I would do it because Kaveh would like it, right?

A bit. [ Midnight grins. ] But he wouldn't, so that's a bit of a wash anyhow. I'd imagine that he'd be rather appalled at the idea of you acting so out of character...

[ ... Midnight isn't laughing because he thinks he has the answer to his little marketing problem. He is laughing because Kaveh getting mad at things is really funny.

(To be completely transparent, he hasn't realized he's hit upon the solution to the marketing problem? He just knows the answer is in the direction of making sure Kaveh knows about this.) ]

It'd probably render him speechless. [And there it is again, even more obviously: a sort of self-satisfied smirk at imagining exactly what Kaveh's expression would be if he came across it. Completely confused and aghast. Sputtering, possible a little red-faced demanding an explanation.

... Okay now he wants the cat ears. He holds his hand out in wordless expectation.]

Edited 2023-09-24 02:18 (UTC)

[ ... Out of all of his combat parameters at the end of his testing battery, Midnight scored lowest on his tactical ability. That is to say that he's a pretty clever elocutor, but if he doesn't get a chance to plan things out beforehand, sometimes he just doesn't realize when or where he is in an actual conflict, even if he's won.

Which is exactly what's happening here. Midnight blinks, then hands over the ears. ]

... Did that do it?

[ ... Honestly, he's starting to get the picture now, but he didn't realize that's all it would take. ]

You've convinced your first customer. Aren't you proud of yourself?

[Alhaitham lifts his arms and slides the headband on, just in front of his own headphones so they're a bit forward, because he's not removing them, and it looks exactly as insane as you'd expect.]

Well? Does it suit me as much as you thought?

... Well, I am proud of myself, yes.

[ Alhaitham isn't technically his first customer, but then again, Midnight's never done sales for cat ears before. The skillset isn't as interchangeable for Midnight as he'd like it to be. Succeeding is always nice.

Anyway, Midnight gets out his terminal and opens the camera app, because what else do you do? This image is blinding. I know this because I am currently fucking blind, what the fuck. ]

If I had to be quite honest — deathly, completely, perfectly honest — it's like you were born with them. I am never wrong about these things. Hold still for the camera, please.

[I found it and I knew no mental image but that would be adequate for what the fuck is happening right now.

Alhaitham's expression drops to its usual cool neutral as Midnight holds up the camera. He isn't making a single move to stop it, just standing there and holding still.] Be sure to get my good side.

[ Click. Midnight looks at the picture, nods, turns the terminal's screen to Alhaitham for his inspection. ]

Please keep in mind that I will send Kaveh the vast majority of these photos. Would you like to try a cat's paw?

[ Midnight lifts his own hand into a paw to demonstrate. Y'know, like. Nya? ]

I won't stop you, but he should be meeting back up with me soon. [They're still in the general area, so he's sure Kaveh will make around around which game Alhaitham wandered to.]

Is that meant to be some sort of cute gesture? [Like that youkai courier girl that delivers his books from Inazuma? Alhaitham mimics it, out of pure curiosity about what it's meant to communicate.]

[ Midnight shrugs, holds his terminal up for another photo. He takes a couple angles, then sends them, one at a time, to Kaveh. ]

Redundancy. Better for evidence to exist in as many places as possible. For posterity, you know.

[ Decentralizing the photos and diffusing them means that the photos will have a harder time disappearing. Midnight is aware of this concept, at least! ]

It is. It's quite coy. Would you be amenable to a wink, or should we stick with cat-like gestures for the moment?

Be sure to get my good side, unless you'd like Kaveh to criticize your framing.

[That's clearly what's important here. Still, the winking gesture is a bit lost on Alhaitham who hasn't cut his hair in a couple months and now really has the left one hidden under his fringe.] Are you suggesting there's other gestures someone makes when wearing cat ears?

Oh no, don't worry, just —

[ Midnight reaches out, takes Alhaitham's chin, and nudges him ever so slightly to look to the side. ]

— There we are. I can do the rest. To answer your question: yes, plenty, although I don't think we'll need to get into full body gestures. Now just put your hand to your chin right — there —

[ Click. Click. Click. ]

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