justscribing | The City

No, honestly. You seem very quiet. And that's why we need the warning, not you. You may not mind your reputation so much, but if you enjoy a certain rigor to your day to day life that excludes exchanging pleasantries with others, it might be easier to ward them off by signaling such tendencies. Thus, the ears.

... But that's in the case that you'd care for other people's comfort, mm? Or at the very least, you don't seem to mind others so much, it's others that tend to mind you. Back to where we started, then.

[ Midnight's tone is, surprisingly, not pointed at all. He really is earnestly workshopping how these ears could benefit Alhaitham in a way he'd appreciate. ]

If I don't want to talk to someone, I won't. [This isn't even getting into how questionable a cat ear headband is as a warning: just as many people think cats are cute and approachable because of it.] It's more effective to proactively avoid troublesome things than expect other people to abide by signals. Some people will disregard a warning entirely, or even take it as some sort of offense to disprove.

[Kaveh.]

[ Midnight laughs. He wanted to live in a world where he considered the ears a valid warning sign for just a little longer... Ah, well.

Who does seem to trouble Alhaitham, then...? ]

You don't seem to mind Kaveh. Either that, or you have difficulty escaping him. [ ... ] Does Kaveh like cats?

[Alhaitham decided that he has no intention of letting Kaveh slip through his fingers, and so he had made himself the difficult to escape, easy to find one. But in the darkness of the mall, Kaveh had told him I can't lose even one part of you.

Maybe Kaveh wouldn't have let him slip through so easily either.]

Kaveh does, though he likes most animals. He wouldn't like me as a cat, however.

[ ~~gay~~ Midnight has cottoned onto the rather mutual nature of their non-friendship, yes. More than that, the mall has proven that he can't leave Kaveh alone, for whatever reason; Kaveh drags him along and seems to enjoy finding reasons to complain about him. The bickering is mutual.

Now... How to leverage that into a compelling proposal? ]

... Do you seek his approval?

I don't seek anyone's approval. [That, genuinely, includes Kaveh.] But you were asking because you wondered if I would do it because Kaveh would like it, right?

A bit. [ Midnight grins. ] But he wouldn't, so that's a bit of a wash anyhow. I'd imagine that he'd be rather appalled at the idea of you acting so out of character...

[ ... Midnight isn't laughing because he thinks he has the answer to his little marketing problem. He is laughing because Kaveh getting mad at things is really funny.

(To be completely transparent, he hasn't realized he's hit upon the solution to the marketing problem? He just knows the answer is in the direction of making sure Kaveh knows about this.) ]

It'd probably render him speechless. [And there it is again, even more obviously: a sort of self-satisfied smirk at imagining exactly what Kaveh's expression would be if he came across it. Completely confused and aghast. Sputtering, possible a little red-faced demanding an explanation.

... Okay now he wants the cat ears. He holds his hand out in wordless expectation.]

Edited 2023-09-24 02:18 (UTC)

[ ... Out of all of his combat parameters at the end of his testing battery, Midnight scored lowest on his tactical ability. That is to say that he's a pretty clever elocutor, but if he doesn't get a chance to plan things out beforehand, sometimes he just doesn't realize when or where he is in an actual conflict, even if he's won.

Which is exactly what's happening here. Midnight blinks, then hands over the ears. ]

... Did that do it?

[ ... Honestly, he's starting to get the picture now, but he didn't realize that's all it would take. ]

You've convinced your first customer. Aren't you proud of yourself?

[Alhaitham lifts his arms and slides the headband on, just in front of his own headphones so they're a bit forward, because he's not removing them, and it looks exactly as insane as you'd expect.]

Well? Does it suit me as much as you thought?

... Well, I am proud of myself, yes.

[ Alhaitham isn't technically his first customer, but then again, Midnight's never done sales for cat ears before. The skillset isn't as interchangeable for Midnight as he'd like it to be. Succeeding is always nice.

Anyway, Midnight gets out his terminal and opens the camera app, because what else do you do? This image is blinding. I know this because I am currently fucking blind, what the fuck. ]

If I had to be quite honest — deathly, completely, perfectly honest — it's like you were born with them. I am never wrong about these things. Hold still for the camera, please.

[I found it and I knew no mental image but that would be adequate for what the fuck is happening right now.

Alhaitham's expression drops to its usual cool neutral as Midnight holds up the camera. He isn't making a single move to stop it, just standing there and holding still.] Be sure to get my good side.

[ Click. Midnight looks at the picture, nods, turns the terminal's screen to Alhaitham for his inspection. ]

Please keep in mind that I will send Kaveh the vast majority of these photos. Would you like to try a cat's paw?

[ Midnight lifts his own hand into a paw to demonstrate. Y'know, like. Nya? ]

I won't stop you, but he should be meeting back up with me soon. [They're still in the general area, so he's sure Kaveh will make around around which game Alhaitham wandered to.]

Is that meant to be some sort of cute gesture? [Like that youkai courier girl that delivers his books from Inazuma? Alhaitham mimics it, out of pure curiosity about what it's meant to communicate.]

[ Midnight shrugs, holds his terminal up for another photo. He takes a couple angles, then sends them, one at a time, to Kaveh. ]

Redundancy. Better for evidence to exist in as many places as possible. For posterity, you know.

[ Decentralizing the photos and diffusing them means that the photos will have a harder time disappearing. Midnight is aware of this concept, at least! ]

It is. It's quite coy. Would you be amenable to a wink, or should we stick with cat-like gestures for the moment?

Be sure to get my good side, unless you'd like Kaveh to criticize your framing.

[That's clearly what's important here. Still, the winking gesture is a bit lost on Alhaitham who hasn't cut his hair in a couple months and now really has the left one hidden under his fringe.] Are you suggesting there's other gestures someone makes when wearing cat ears?

Oh no, don't worry, just —

[ Midnight reaches out, takes Alhaitham's chin, and nudges him ever so slightly to look to the side. ]

— There we are. I can do the rest. To answer your question: yes, plenty, although I don't think we'll need to get into full body gestures. Now just put your hand to your chin right — there —

[ Click. Click. Click. ]

[Alhaitham's stiff under Midnight's nudging, eyeing him the entire time, but ultimately allows himself to be pliable enough because Alhaitham does not do anything related to Kaveh in halves. Midnight knows a more dramatic pose. Alhaitham knows the more dedicated to this he is, the more uncanny it's going to be.

So there Alhaitham is, head tilted with his hand curled by his face in the facsimile of a cat's paw, expression entirely too serious for the lackadaisical gesture of a grown man in a cat ear headband doing the Nyan Pose.]

[ genuinely, that is the picture that sends kaveh down into one of the weirdest spirals of all time, because there's kaveh caught between why and how and there's the kaveh sincerely wondering if something's in the air in this carnival and it's hijacked alhaitham the way you would a radio wave. but that is midnight, who wouldn't hurt anyone unless they stumbled upon him in the middle of psychosis, which, granted, only happened once and it was very understandable given the circumstances and it was only kaveh who was hurt and it wasn't even that bad of a bruise, and so kaveh is left rounding the corner with genuine bafflement slipped into each and every molecule of himself that only somehow manages to compound when he sees the real thing.

kaveh looks. kaveh then looks between midnight and alhaitham. and then kaveh really looks. he does so with his hands. he marches up to alhaitham and tweezes the felt-tipped ears. fake. alright. ]

You. [ kaveh says the word at alhaitham as if it were a misplaced decimal, ] What are you doing, and how did you find a hairband that matches precisely the shade of your hair? Why is this the only thing you've put effort into all night?

[ he turns on midnight. ] And you! Why are you like this! What is wrong with you! Didn't anyone tell you that camera distance from the subject changes the exposure and refines the colour? What possessed you to have the flash that bright on a subject so close, and why hasn't someone exorcised it from you yet?

Edited 2023-09-24 04:30 (UTC)

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Midnight extends his terminal to Kaveh, phone app still active. ]

Would you like to take a few? He's a very cooperative model.

[ ... Well, it seems like he cares a lot about the quality of the photos. Handing off responsibility seems like a no brainer. ]

[Kaveh approaches. Alhaitham sees him from the periphrial first, and his entire expression curves into satisfaction. The smirk digs into his cheek like a knife, unrepentant in the face of Kaveh coming in close and tweaking the faux fur on the headband.]

Midnight won it from this game, actually. What a coincidence.

[Also, did he not say so? There Kaveh is, all the more insulted by the terrible camera work. Yes, this was completely worth playing along.

Incidentally, he's still doing that pose.]

Coincidence?! [ kaveh's voice rises to the decibel of somewhere between 'aggrieved anemo slime' and 'cat that just got its tailed stepped on'. it's a very specific decibel. kaveh snatches the phone out of midnight's hands. ]

I knew it. This was your fault [ you (midnight) (derogatory) ], I don't even want to know how you convinced him, and why are you [ you (alhaitham) (derogatory) ] still holding that pose? Did you also coincidentally begin mimicking the mannerisms of a small child pretending to be a cat?

Well, our meeting here was very accidental — [ a pause here as his terminal leaves his hands ] — so I don't know what else you would call it. Serendipitous, perhaps? Alhaitham, you have a better word for it, if it exists.

[ Kaveh cares so much. It's so nice. Midnight hums happily to himself, watching Kaveh manhandle his terminal and work himself into a red-eyed, poofy Catastrophe. ]

Are you accusing us of conspiracy, by the way?

If not a coincidence, would you call it fate? The pose was Midnight's idea, by the way. Isn't it suitable for this headband?

[No shame in throwing Midnight under the bus, it's just what it is.] Besides-[His gaze flicks to the phone.] weren't you going to start taking pictures?

[ kaveh makes a noise that sums up all the derision that currently exists in the world. ]

And since when did you take just anyone's idea? No, you took a look at it and decided that it was the worst you can do. Who knows what's going on in that baffling head of yours. No, I am not going to take more pictures. I have enough of them, - here.

[ a few flicks of his fingers later, kaveh shoves the phone back into midnight's hands. with a few well-positioned nudges, he gets him a few feet back, and points at alhaitham. ] This is a proper distance. I've also dimmed your flash to an acceptable level. And no, I am not - in fact, both of you would have to be lemurs for me to call you a conspiracy. Why are you looking so pleased!

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Gonna let Kaveh swing in here next

COMES IN SWINGING

HENLO

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