justscribing | The City

[Alhaitham stares, momentarily uncomprehending.] There's just no need for you to hurt yourself to prove your point.

[He's reminded of Dehya's gambit, and that similarly was something he felt was unnecessary even as she persisted. Symbolic forms of sacrifice as literal limb-chopping is beyond him.]

More meaningful proof is changing your behavior. I've said before you're careless, and I still believe that. Unlike Kaveh, I don't expect perfection of you. But I expect you to prove your sincerity to do better by him by trying, and that involves listening to what he needs and not running off your assumptions of what you think is best for him.

... I'll stop avoiding you and let you prove it if you try. But any problem you have with me, you come to me directly and you don't involve Kaveh.

[ Midnight raises a brow. ]

You don't need to expect perfection of me. I expect it of myself.

[ But the point has been taken, and Midnight doesn't argue with the rest. Midnight certainly has his opinions about Kaveh and what he says he needs... But that has nothing to do with how Alhaitham sees his relationship with Kaveh, so it's a bit useless to bring his own ideas up.]

Do what you like, Alhaitham. I'm not sure if I've ever had a problem with you that I didn't resolve directly with you, but you have my word moving forward that I will continue to do so.

Then are you disputing Kaveh's explanation that you killed him in that hole in a way that was meant to hurt me? Don't ignore the second half of that sentence, Midnight: that you don't involve Kaveh.

[ Midnight cants his head again. Well, Kaveh. There's certainly some ambiguity here, but that part was well reasoned. ]

I'm not ignoring the second half, but if you'd like to make a set of demands for me, you'd best not saddle them with any caveats that defeat your purpose. Yes, that was one reason I did it, but I don't recall having any specific problem against you. You've identified a tool, but not a motive. Unless you think me the sort of person to hurt someone for no particular reason?

[ If Alhaitham leaves the demand as it is, Midnight is completely free to do as he likes to Kaveh as long as it's in terms of how Alhaitham would benefit from it, for example. It's a huge, gaping hole. Midnight is quite sure Alhaitham doesn't mean to leave him that sort of freedom.

Also interesting: Alhaitham's just defined the issue in terms of how it hurt him. Not that Midnight didn't expect that, but he seems to be revolving around it a bit more than he'd expected of someone otherwise as dispassionate as Alhaitham, someone who is surely the sort of person who would at least consider other possibilities. Ah. Love is truly blind.

Midnight closes his eyes. ]

Kaveh's said about the same thing, but his terms were much more clear: no more manipulation, period. I stand by that. Is that good enough for you?

If I thought this was for no reason, I wouldn't be specifying. [If he thought Midnight was that empty, he'd be having very different conversations. Kaveh would be seeing the situation differently.]

Amd nothing I've said contradicts itself unless you're misunderstanding again, so let me be clearer: part of your motivation was to get me to hate you because you don't trust yourself. To do that, you've sought to hurt me on purpose. You've used Kaveh because you know it will work when you target me.

So if you decide you want to hurt me again, whatever reason you have, hurt me directly. Keep it between us, and I'll be sure that Kaveh doesn't find a reason to make good on his threat.

[Because Kaveh made a deal based on manipulation, but Kaveh is also excellent at redefining a situation in his head to suit his reality. It's better, then, that if Midnight wants him hurt Kaveh cannot find out at all.]

[ Now that is a surprise. Midnight actually smiles a bit, humming thoughtfully. He could almost forget that, in all of this, he's still wrestling with everything he's done wrong in this situation. Alhaitham certainly is some sort of gift.

It's interesting that Alhaitham makes his case in terms of enabling what he thinks Midnight might do in the future, rather than forbid him from harm outright. He won't, of course — his word is sacred, and Kaveh told him not to — but this arguably tells Midnight more about Alhaitham than any conversation they had on Midnight's couch. Goodness, it really took this much, didn't it? ]

You're a joy, Alhaitham. You really are.

[ And the awful part is that Midnight really, really means it. For a split second, his eyes soften. These two truly are impossible. ]

Agreed. Anything else?

Edited 2024-02-23 00:24 (UTC)

[Midnight smiles. That's not the part that catches Alhaitham off guard. Midnight smiles more than he doesn't even around Alhaitham.

But he notices, in the brief moment, the softness that overtakes his expression. As of he's looking at something he's fond of, which makes little sense to Alhaitham. He doesn't know what that look means. He doesn't even know where to start dissecting it.]

No, that's all. [He brings his mug closer to his lips.] And you don't need to call me "of the Haravatat". That's just the Darshan I graduated from in the Akademiya. I don't have any position with the alumni.

[... He really just thought Midnight might want to know there's no lofty title associated with graduating. That's just Kaveh.]

[ Of course he doesn't. And when has Midnight made himself anything more or less than a mystery to Alhaitham

He does laugh, though. "That's all", followed by one more thing. Alhaitham is a gift, honestly. ]

I see. Thank you for letting me know. I thought I'd go with address as formal as possible, but I don't know you by any other name.

[ He shrugs, scratching the back of his head, before letting his hand fall to his side. ]

I'll be off, then. Have a lovely rest of your morning.

[ Midnight is still completely exhausted, but the apology is now out, in whatever form this ended up being, and he feels much better for it. It's nice to do these things properly. ]

[That's because he does everything he can not to earn titles.

Alhaitham hums, watching Midnight turn to go from the doorway. And he continues to watch until Midnight disappears around the corner.

Then he finally takes a sip of his coffee and closes the door. He'll be spending the morning thinking about this.]

The City | Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject